August 30, 2013: college is so fucking expensive

i’m suicidal until
the moment i see myself
in outraspective.

i am lying facedown
on my bedspread, 
feet hanging off 
the edge, 
bob dylan’s
“lay, lady, lay”
taking off the edge
sobriety
leaves behind.

i am avoiding reading
the remaining twenty-six
pages of human 
growth and development’s
first assigned chapter
of my overpriced textbook—
fuck this shit, i’m a writer.
why am i not 
an english major?

“because you’re excellent
at biology too, 
but you’re too lazy to suffer
through
organic chemistry and
calculus,
so you’ll be stuck
with a nursing degree
just like your parents
before you. 
A+ for role model
skills. C for effort in making strides
in disappointing your parents
(again).”

gee, thanks again,
conscience—
wish you’d lose your
rationale for once.

“ruled by reason,
poisoned by passion.”